A/N: I guess this is 'Meridian' inspired. Would like to point out that I hadn't seen an episode of Season 6 when I wrote this so things are a little... wonky.
Rating: PG
Season: Early 6.
As always, feedback is much appreciated.
Chapter One
For the third morning in a row, Sam Carter woke up with her face smushed - yes, smushed was the technical name for it - on her desk. She carefully pulled a yellow sticky note from her face and scrubbed at her cheek absently. She supposed she ought to be thankful it had been her desk and not the keyboard.
Bracing herself for the worst, she glanced at her watch. Half six.
Sam made a face; she had no life.
Coffee. Coffee would make this all better.
It was an automatic, unthinking response - she swung by Daniel's office out of habit, vaguely thinking that he'd probably be around and they could discuss how lame their social lives were over a table in the commissary. She didn't realize her mistake until she was staring at the closed door of what used to be his office.
She got an emotional punch in the gut - a fraction of the grief she'd carried with her immediately after his death. Or his ascension. Whatever. He was just gone, that was all she knew. Which was basically the same thing.
Sam knew grief well, all too well, in fact, and knew it was a sneaky emotion, lulling you into a false sense of security until your defenses were low and you forgot just for one happy moment....
Taking a step back, Sam distanced herself from his office, then forced herself to turn away and walk towards the commissary, alone.
It wasn't the same. Her cup of coffee sat untouched on the corner table she'd selected, away from everyone else. If Daniel had been there they would have talked about what they'd been working on. They'd ask each other pertinent questions, even though their fields of expertise were practically incomprehensible to each other. But at least they'd try - because that was what friends did.
Soon, the topic would have drifted to their latest world, the mishaps, the interesting experiences, then maybe onto the escapades of the other SG teams. After that they'd talk about rumors. Who was dating who, who was new, who was transferring and why. This inevitably led to a discussion about how tragic it was that their lack of lives led to such an interest in other peoples.
Sam finally sipped her coffee, and leaned back, watching new early morning arrivals - a fresh faced group, no doubt one of the newly formed SG teams. They looked so young, she thought, shaking her head. She wondered, had she known six years ago, what was in store for her at the SGC, would she have stayed? The intellect in her said yes - think of how she was fighting for her country, think of the Noble Prize Winning discoveries, the new technology, the excitement...
Think of the isolation, her dependence on SG-1, the sleepless nights, the unfriendly aliens, the constant threat of Goa'uld attack, the lack of all the normal career comforts. Relationships. Romance. Love. Marriage. Children. Informality.
She was really feeling the negatives now. Perhaps because she could no longer talk about it with someone. Teal'c was devoted to the cause and Colonel O'Neill? That line was already wobbly enough without her jumping on it. She and the colonel had too much subtext to be friends like she and Daniel had been.
Sam finished her coffee and stood up. Might as well wonder down to command, see who was off world, bother Siler, though, bless him, he never complained.
*
"Ah, Colonel, good morning." General Hammond gestured to one of the chairs in front of his perfectly ordered desk.
Jack sat and raised his eyebrows at his CO. "General?"
"How are things, Jack?"
Oh, boy, as Cater would say. First the decidedly personal question, then the 'Jack'. Something was up.
"Things are fine," Jack responded with just enough levity in his voice to suggest he thought the question was unnecessary.
General Hammond allowed himself to smile, as if he'd expected exactly that response. "How is Jonas fitting in to SG-1?"
"Apart from his disgusting cheerfulness - just fine. He and Teal'c have... bonded. Carter treats him like a little brother, pretty much the way she treated Dr Jackson."
"And you?"
"He's better than a Russian," was all Jack could say on the subject.
Hammond nodded sagely and Jack had a feeling he was about to be hit with the real reason the General had summoned him. "Dr Jackson has left a void behind in SG-1."
"I would say in the SGC, sir."
"Indeed. A loss felt most particularly by yourself and Major Carter."
Jack squelched down all grief related feelings as hard as he possibly could. "Yes, sir." He was pleased with his steady tone.
"I was wondering if you'd spoken to Major Carter about it?"
Spoken to her? Carter? Sam? About Daniel? Did he realize how painful that would be? It wasn't as if he and Carter would risk talking about emotional issues. They were both so firmly clamped up in that department - military mind set and all.
General Hammond continued as if he hadn't required a response. "It probably hasn't escaped your notice that she'd been spending a lot of time on base."
"She's always been a work-a-holic." Though that wasn't strictly true. It was just that either something had to be done fast to save the world or she'd get so excited by a project that she'd lose all sense of time. She genuinely loved what she did.
"She has also slept here the past three nights."
OK. That was a little excessive, even for Carter. And as her CO he probably should have known she was sleeping here, which would be why General Hammond had called him in.
"Have you mentioned this to Dr Fraiser?"
"Actually, Dr Fraiser suggested I talk to you, and I agree. SG-1 needs to mend itself."
Jack felt a major headache coming on. He couldn't believe the Doc had bailed on him like that! She and Carter were friends, weren't they? How come she couldn't talk to Carter? Why was this being left to him? Christ - things with Carter were tense enough as it was. They'd just managed to scramble up from the emotional wringer of zay'tarc testing, mind stamping, computer entities and reach a sort of appropriately distant daily manner when this was being thrown at him! If they started talking about Daniel where would things lead?
But, obviously, while he was thinking all these things, his face remained impassive. It was the training. "I'll see what I can do, sir."
"That's all I'm asking, son," the General said gently. The red phone started ringing on his desk and they both looked at it.
"I'll ah, be leaving now," Jack managed.
"Briefing at 1000 hours."
"Yessir."
Jack decided the best thing to do would be to get this deal over and done with as quickly as possible. Hopefully, she would put him out of his misery before he'd resort to breaking one of her doohickeys.
He swung by her lab and there she was, perched on a lab stood. Her hair was wet and slicked back from her face - man, she looked good with wet hair. She looked good wet all over....
He stifled his increasingly dirty train of thought by speaking, "Carter?"
Sam put down whatever it was she was looking at and smiled at him. "Sir? Can I help you?"
See, this was why he and Carter shouldn't talk. If anyone else had turned up, Daniel, Teal'c, Jonas, she'd probably chat to them. They wouldn't need a reason to see her. They could drop by just to look at her, see her smile, smell her hair... There it went again! Mind in gutter.
"How are..." He couldn't believe he was saying this "... things?"
Carter's eyes widened. "Things are fine, sir."
Suddenly Jack found himself in the same position as the General. He'd wanted 'things' to be fine but there was no way that they were.
"You've slept here a couple of times this week."
Carter winced, then covered quickly. "Oh. That. Yeah, well, it wasn't intentional. I just kinda.. fell asleep."
That was... good, he supposed. Now what did he do? Just come out with it, ask her if she missed Daniel? Of course she missed Daniel. He'd been her best friend. They talked about non-related SGC stuff. Books, movies, art. Who was she supposed to... uh oh.
Maybe, just maybe, he'd hit on the problem.
"Sir?"
He realized he'd said the 'uh oh' out loud.
Sam laughed. "All right, Sir, who sent you? Janet or General Hammond?"
Way too smart for her own good. He picked up something metallic and oily from a plastic container on the bench and nervously moved it from hand to hand. "Dr Fraiser by way of General Hammond," he admitted sheepishly.
"Poor you."
He smiled. "He talked about mending the void."
She was quiet for a little while. Not upset quiet but thoughtful quiet. "I'm not sure it can be mended."
"See? That's what I think. I think we should leave the void well alone."
"I agree, sir." She looked from his face to the doohickey in his hands. She grinned suddenly and Jack wondered what the hell he was holding that made her smile that devious. It was a really attractive look, actually. Made him think of... well, that was obvious.
"Okay, tell me what it is," he said in resigned tones.
She giggled. "No, sir."
"Come on, Carter, I can take it."
"Respectfully, no, you can't, sir."
Carter had a glint in her eyes. He couldn't help thinking that she must have broken a few hearts as a teenager. "Please, sir, put it back on the table."
"Major, I order you to tell me what it is."
She bit her lip and tried manfully to stop smiling. "I don't know what it is, sir."
"Then what's with the giggle?"
"It's not what it is, per say, it's where it's from."
He was lost. Not entirely unusual. "Huh?"
"P3X 985, sir."
She was winding him up. Time for a little colonel commanding tone - "Carter..."
"The planet with the reptiles."
"The dinosaurs?"
"Reptiles, sir."
He rolled his eyes, turning the doohickey around in his hands some more. Probably he oughta put it down, but he was kinda having fun. "Big scaly monsters. Dinosaurs. What about it?"
"I found that there."
"So?"
"That came out of one of the reptiles."
Jack closed his eyes.
She continued. "That black stuff you're probably thinking is oil... isn't."
The room was silent for a moment.
Then, "Major?"
"Sir?"
"Take it off me."
"Sir, yes, sir!" She was barely restraining her giggles.
"What have I told you about giggling, Major?"
She cleared her throat. "Sorry, sir, no giggling." There was the sound of latex gloves being snapped on, then the disgusting doohickey was removed his hands. A moment later, something wet and antiseptic smelling was wiping at his hands.
Jack decided it would be okay to open his eyes. He began, barely, to see the humor in the situation. "Never tell anyone about this, Carter."
"No, sir."
"Not even at the Christmas Party."
"No, sir."
He realized he could probably clean his hands himself, but he was kinda enjoying letting her do it. "You know, I'm sure there have been more revolting things in my life, I just can't think of any."
Sam bit her lip harder. "If you hang around another minute or two, you'll get to see one of the revolting things I have to deal with."
"What's that?"
"McKay."
Jack grinned. "Rumor has it that he has a thing for you."
"In a perverse, insulting, strangely fascinating way, he does."
So long as she wasn't interested, it was fine by him. "How's Simmons by the way?"
She was almost blushing. "You knew about that?"
"Oh, come on, he used to swoon when you walked past him."
Carter laughed. "I remember once, when Daniel and I..." She faltered and trailed off. "All done, sir."
Jack decided it would be kinder to her, and to him, if he changed the subject. "I think maybe Simmons has grown up some."
"Last I heard he had a girlfriend."
"Tall, blonde, bubbly?"
"Bubbly, sir?"
"Would you prefer chirpy?"
Carter narrowed her eyes dangerously. A shiver ran down his spine in delight. "Chipper? No? Overexcited? Hyperactive?" The eyes became slits. Damn, but he was enjoying himself. "Ah, Carter, you know assaulting a senior officer is a court martial offence?"
"I'm sure they'd make an exception, seeing as it's you." Long pause. "Sir."
Jack's mouth dropped open in a pretence of shock. "Me? But I'm a model officer, Carter. Always by the book." He grinned at her expression. "What would you do without me, Carter?"
"I'd probably be able to get some work done." She paused again. "Sir."
"Nice save, Carter."
"I try."
He laughed and stuck his hands in his pockets, feeling quite pleased with himself. "All right, Major, I'll leave you to your.." He sought for the right word.
"Doohickeys, sir?"
There was that damn giggle. It conjured up all sorts of inappropriate thoughts in his mind. "That's it. Doohickeys. See ya in the briefing."
"Yes, sir."
He almost, almost, whistled as he walked down the corridor.
*
*
*
Chapter Two
Disappointed at the lack of useful finds in the soil samples she'd collected, Sam returned to base camp. Surveying the scene, it would appear that she'd been the only one doing anything productive. Teal'c was standing guard, facing towards the glorious mountain range outlined in the distance, Jonas appeared to be engrossed in a book (not doubt another of Daniel's journals, or even one of her own books), while the Colonel was napping against a tree, his cap pulled down over his eyes, apparently completely at ease.
"Anything?" Jonas asked politely, grinning at her.
"No naquadah, certainly. As for anything else, that'll wait until I analyze these samples further."
The Colonel yawned. "Time to move out, then, campers. Teal'c?"
"I am ready, O'Neill."
They walked the short distance back through the threes - 'Goddamn trees' - to the inevitable clearing for the Stargate. Jonas dialed home (he'd begged) and Sam engaged the IDC.
"What a nice, quiet planet," the Colonel commented, gesturing for the others to head up to the event horizon.
"We've been to lots of nice, quiet planets, sir," Carter said, moments before she stepped through.
"I know, it's just a pity we've also been to lots of unfriendly, noisy ones," he continued as they popped out the other side.
General Hammond was up in the control room. "Good to see you on time for a change, SG-1. Report to the infirmary."
"Sometimes I think he's disappointed when we come back in one piece," the Colonel whispered as they obediently marched their way to the elevator that would take them up to the infirmary.
"On the contrary, O'Neill, I believe General Hammond disguises his relief with an attempt at humor, as you yourself are prone to do," Teal'c pointed out.
Sam couldn't help her snort, and she quickly covered it up with a coughing fit while the Colonel looked at her suspiciously.
Doctor Fraiser checked the clock in the usually busy infirmary as SG-1 trooped through. "On time? My, my."
Clearly, Colonel O'Neill wasn't pleased with this response. "Not getting enough work, doc? We'll try to come back with a few broken arms next time."
"Hey, Janet," Sam said quickly before Janet could respond. She hopped onto a bed and Janet pulled the curtain around her.
After a depressing start, Sam's day had taken an unusual turn for the better. Mostly, it worked the other way around - usually when SG-1 encountered one of those unfriendly planets the Colonel had been talking about earlier.
"Find anything interesting?"
Sam watched as her blood pressure was taken. For a few months during her childhood, Sam had wanted to be a medical doctor. Or, rather, a 'people doctor' as she'd put it when she was seven. She was rather thankful she'd grown out of that phase. "Nope."
"You sound disappointed."
Sam shrugged. "Not overly. A nice, quiet planet for a change. It was beautiful there."
Janet smiled and pulled over a tray of needles. Sam repressed a sigh. "You know, Cassie practically ate that last book you gave her."
"Thought she'd like it. I have a couple of others by the same author. She's really taken to earth history, hasn't she?"
"Talking about majoring in it at college."
"Seems only yesterday she was this little lost girl." Sam sighed. "Did you know what you wanted to be at her age?"
"Yup. What about you?"
Sam wrinkled her nose and hopped off the bed, reaching for her belt buckle in preparation for her injection. "Actually, no. I knew I wanted to go to space, but how I got there was a different matter."
"Bet you were good at everything, Carter," Colonel O'Neill called through the screen.
Carter smiled. He was closer to the truth than he realized. "What about you, sir?"
"Er... let's just say my decision to join the air force was the lesser of two evils."
Janet and Sam exchanged smiles.
"I don't get it," Jonas spoke up.
"I was being tactful."
Sam laughed. "Jonas?"
"Sam?"
"I'll explain later."
"Okay. Thanks."
Janet finished up. "All done, here, Sam. Get some lunch."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Save me a seat, Carter!"
She grinned as she left the infirmary. Whether or not he realized it, she always saved him a seat.
Since Jonas arrived first, Sam was able to explain the Colonel's statement which unfortunately meant the young man stared in disbelief at her CO for the rest of the meal.
"What did you tell him?" the Colonel hissed as Jonas left to get some more tea.
Sam dug her spoon into her Jell-O and looked innocent. "Jail or the military. Guess it burst his bubble."
"Bubble? Bubble? What bubble?"
"Don't worry, sir, I'm sure he'll grow out of it." She ate her Jell-O happily, enjoying her Colonel's discomfort. He was really cute when he was uncomfortable. Made her want to do all sorts of unprofessional things...
Hey! Stop thinking like that. She shook her head slightly. Damn but she thought she'd moved on from this. Okay, maybe not moved on. She wasn't that type of person. But she thought, at least, the dirty thoughts had slackened off. It really was bizarre, this strange thing she had for him.
Jonas sat down heavily. "I have to know, what did you do?"
Colonel O'Neill sighed. "I was just a little bit rebellious."
"Oh, sir, you were a cliché!"
Even Teal'c looked amused at that. Colonel O'Neill looked murderous.
"All teenagers are clichés, Carter," he said defensively. "You can't tell me you were a perfect teenager too."
She grimaced. "Sorry."
"Ah, crap. Teal'c, you ever get a bit difficult in your youth?" he asked hopefully.
Teal'c merely raised his eyebrows.
Glancing at Jonas, Colonel O'Neill made a face. "I'm not even gonna ask you."
Jonas grinned. Tactfully, he decided to change the topic. "Sam, have you got any further in identifying the find from P3X 985?"
"The planet with the abnormally large reptiles?" Teal'c queried. "I was not aware we had brought anything back from there."
Sam knew it would be fatal to look at her CO. She just knew it. But she did, and nearly choked on her Jell-O.
***
"Is it just me or....."
"No, it's not." Carter made a face. "You know, the female nurses have a strict rota for who gets to give him his physicals?"
"No way." He couldn't believe this was happening again. First Daniel, now Jonas. And he knew a few of the nurses had a thing for Teal'c too. Something about the strong, silent type.
They both waited patiently for Jonas to catch up after being waylaid by two female lieutenants. He was, as per usual, grinning. Carter and O'Neill exchanged a look.
"They're all so friendly, aren't they?"
"Women? Not to me," Jack grumbled, feeling old all of a sudden. He looked down at Carter. She was the one woman in his life who didn't look at him as if he was a sad old fool who should have retired years ago. Then again, there weren't really many women in his life at all - not that, of course, he considered Carter to be in his life. She was his second in command. It was a strictly business relationship.
Yeah, right.
Carter caught his look, and must have seen something there that shouldn't have been because she blushed. Jack winced minutely. "Come on. Hammond wanted to see us."
He blamed their lateness on Jonas. "Been flirting scandalously in the corridors," Jack claimed, taking his seat with Carter next to him.
General Hammond opened his mouth, thought better of it - after all, the majority of what Colonel O'Neill said was exaggeration - and got down to business.
"We have a problem, people. As you all no doubt know, SG-10 brought back a debilitating but not fatal form of the influenza virus from P3X 298."
Jack frowned. Damned memo loop.
"They are all, therefore, laid out for the time being. Not unsurprisingly, as are several engineers and a member of SG-3 and SG-5 who were all in the gate room when SG-10 returned this afternoon. This puts 3 teams out of action which therefore puts us behind schedule."
"We have a schedule?" Jack interrupted. He thought he felt someone kick his right ankle but Carter was doodling on her note pad innocently.
".... which costs the government money," Hammond finished.
Uh-oh, Jack thought.
Everyone looked at him.
Why did he keep saying these things out loud? "Sorry. Thinking out loud. Carry on."
Carter made a slight noise and covered her mouth with her hand.
"Thank you, Colonel, Major," Hammond said depressingly.
Sorry, Carter, Jack thought this time, glancing at his apologetically. He had a brief, fuzzy flashback to high school - getting his blonde girlfriend in trouble with the teacher by making her laugh. He wondered, had he and Carter been at school together - would they have dated? It would have been a whole lot easier back then. Making a move in the movie theatre, kissing her at parties, getting his hands under her...
Woah.
Not going there.
Focus, Jack, focus.
***
Sam was busy trying to configure a new formula for devising the.... okay. Who was she kidding? She was daydreaming. She had this skill - she could keep an ear on what was being said, and still understand everything, while really she was thinking about something else entirely. It had been something she'd used at school when, bored out of her mind at being taught something she already knew, she'd let her mind wonder to more interesting things. Usually boys, at that time.
"Uh oh."
Carter broken out of her reverie and grinned at the Colonel, who looked mightily embarrassed.
"Sorry. Thinking out loud." He waved his hands in the air like a conductor. "Carry on."
It was just so ridiculous. The Colonel had this propensity for walking into things just by opening his mouth. Added to that, he, a Colonel, had practically ordered General Hammond to 'carry on'.
She thought she successfully turned her snort of laughter into something indefinable. Apparently not.
"Thank you, Colonel, Major," the General said sternly.
The Colonel apologized to her soundlessly. She wondered if he knew how much he looked like a son who'd just been yelled at by his father. This led Sam to wonder about his parents. He never spoke about them, but then he'd never have known about her dad if he hadn't been a general and she was sure he didn't know the details about her mother. Daniel had. Just as she had known about his parents, the foster homes, his childhood in general.
Sam began to feel depressed again.
At which point, General Hammond rounded up the meeting and left.
"Uh..." she said, stupidly.
"Ditto that," Jack agreed, leaning forward. "What just happened?"
"General Hammond was informing us of temporary changes to our routine, O'Neill, Major Carter."
"What changes?" Sam asked. Multi-tasking clearly hadn't worked on this occasion. Apparently, thinking about her CO was entirely too absorbing.
"I am to join with SG-5, Jonas Quinn with SG-3."
"To gain diplomatic experience," he added, grinning.
"And us?" the Colonel demanded.
"Mineral surveys," Teal'c stated.
The Colonel groaned.
Sam, on the other hand, was relatively pleased. No life threatening trips. No unfriendly natives. Just her and some dirt. And her CO. "Great."
"On planets deemed non-threatening," Jonas put in, seeming to enjoy the Colonel's displeasure. "But, if you want, you could swap with me."
"Yeah, Colonel, you could use the diplomacy lessons."
The Colonel narrowed his eyes at them both. "You two seem awfully keen to get rid of me all of a sudden." He sighed. "Mineral surveys it is. I'll take my Walkman."
"Then who will guard Major Carter?" Teal'c said sharply.
Depression gone, Carter got up and left the briefing room while the boys argued over who would look after her. Of course, she knew perfectly well she could look after herself, probably better than they thought she could. Still, it was nice to feel loved.
Then she walked into the lab and McKay (wasn't he supposed to be at the Pentagon?) trying to hack into her laptop for the third time that day. She hunted around for something to throw.
*
*
*
Chapter Three
"Heard about the icky doohickey." Jack tucked his tongue into his cheek and admired the pretty way she blushed.
"It was unavoidable." She dug some more soil up and pushed it into the test tube, scowling. She made a notation on the side of the glass.
Jack wondered if it was normal to be this enamored of a 2IC. He'd never had a female 2IC before - perhaps he should ask around, see if it had happened to anyone else. Close contact and all that, seen each other at their worse..... the occasions when he'd seen her almost naked....
Nope. Wasn't that. She'd knocked him sideways the moment she'd stepped into that briefing room all sharp and correct, long legs and golden hair. Frankly, if he hadn't ended up her CO he would probably have sought her out, asked her to dinner, maybe. In both of the AUs they had been together when the regulations hadn't been involved - engaged in one and married in the other. God, waking up with Sam every morning. And she was a morning person.
Jack grinned and decided it would be a good idea if he did a little patrolling. Promised Teal'c and all that. Besides, it just wasn't right mentally imagining himself in bed with Sam Carter when she was unknowingly working away in the dirt.
Yup. A nice, quiet planet. Boring, but good since there were only the two of them. Just a touch risky sending out half a team; he supposed he ought to be flattered the General thought they could take care of themselves.
He came back to Sam, who'd moved quadrants. She was a neat worker. He remembered doing science experiments at school. Caused a couple explosions, set fire to a bench. His science teacher hadn't liked him much.
"So, were you good at everything?"
Sam blew her hair off her forehead. "Honestly?"
"Of course."
"Yes."
Jack grinned, delighted and faintly proud. "Every parents dream?"
"Actually, after my mother died, my father didn't really... show me that he was pleased with me. I knew he was proud of me, he was just... distant. Back then, so long as he wasn't getting phoned up at work, then he was happy."
Jack wasn't really surprised. He knew things in the Carter household hadn't exactly been Happy Families. "You're closer now."
"Funny what parasites can do to heal families." Carter gave him her megawatt smile and closed the box.
"Done?"
"I want to take some samples by the river." She nodded northwards. "Not far - few hundred yards."
"No lifeforms on this planet?"
"Not as far as we can tell from the UAV - and judging from the trees growing so close to the Stargate, that assumption's probably correct." She slid a pair of sunglasses on and started walking with him following close behind.
Jack decided a little more conversation couldn't go amiss. Seriously, he didn't think he'd gotten this much out of her the entire time he knew her. "How's your brother?"
"He's okay. You know we told him Dad's taken a position in Europe, don't you?"
"Yeah. Inventive."
"Mark knew we were lying."
"What?" Jack caught up with her and walked by her side, his eyes still scanning around them automatically.
"He knew. When we were younger, Dad used to make up things for us until Mark got old enough to know when he was lying. He accepts it now just like he had to when we were kids." She shook her ruefully.
"And before the Tokra, the roles were reversed. You were lying to your dad." It was interesting - he'd got used to covering up his movements from Sara, and to a degree, from Charlie, but Sam had it both ways.
"Yeah. That sucked. There he was, pulling strings to get me into NASA, away from the tedium of 'deep space radar telemetry'."
Jack shook his head. "I suppose Sara always knew, too. Part of the deal of being an air force wife." Not one she'd probably have agree too, he thought, if she'd known in advance.
"It's a lonely life. My mom liked to keep busy with us. She was a member of a lot of clubs. Hosted all the proper parties for my dad's Air Force superiors and all the wives would fake an interest in the military conversation."
Christ.
"I can stop talking now, if you'd like." She looked at him understandingly. "It's a sore topic, that's all."
"We all have them, Carter." He put a hand on the small of her back to steady her as she climbed over a fallen tree. "And I don't mind you talking. It's the long scientific words I can't cope with." Best to make the situation lighter, he decided.
"You want to know something terrible?"
"We're not about to be attacked by naked natives, are we?"
"No. Sometimes... sometimes I use overly long words to upset you."
"Carter!"
Her dimples flickered. "I'm really, really sorry, sir."
"I knew it. I knew it was deliberate. Nearly six years, Carter! Six years of Tokra and Tollens and superior assed aliens and you were just doing it to upset me." Maybe he put it on a bit thick because she turned around and stopped, all wide shining blue eyes and contriteness.
"It was a habit, sir. Sort of a defense thing. Scientists are a competitive bunch." All the innocence left her face and was suddenly replaced with a look of such deviousness he felt his knees quiver. "Me and Daniel had a running competition. I was winning. I'm thinking of teaching it to Jonas."
About three quarters of his brain wanted to grab her, kiss her senseless (if he could remember how) and see where things would go after that, while the one quarter of his brain that was left was wondering sensible things like - did she have any idea what he was thinking? did she care? was an alien planet really the best place for this kind of thought process?
"Do you have a record of this competition?"
"Yessir."
"I'm afraid you're going to have to hand it over when we get home. Now, get on with you. I want to be back on time."
"Yes, Colonel."
He tried very hard not to look at her ass as he walked behind her. He was an adult, dammit, and a woman was not going to reduce him to a mass of hormones. Damn but he hadn't been this wound up since Jonah and Thera.
Don't go there, Jack, just don't.
***
Flirting with the Colonel while the whole of SG-1 was present was one thing. Doing it when they were alone off-world was another thing entirely. Despite this air of joviality - he was remarkably relaxed, actually - he could be very intense when it was just one on one and it was making her squirm inside. And when she felt that way, she only flirted harder, which led to her making some serious professional errors.
Thankfully, it was very much business as usual on the walk back. No more personal questions and jokes. General Hammond greeted them as per usual before they went their separate ways.
"Hey, gorgeous. Dinner?" He leaned in the doorway of her lab, eyebrows raised.
Sam looked at where the device from the dinosaur - damn - reptile planet had grazed McKay's forehead. "I'm so sorry, McKay."
"You've already eaten then?" His eyes lingered on her mouth; she tried not to get annoyed. He was an intelligent, passably good-looking man who was interested in her - what was so wrong with that?
Apart from the fact that his eyes weren't brown, he didn't have distinguished, messy grey hair and an adorable lack of interest in her work. All right - let's face it. He was nothing like the Colonel. Added to that, when McKay opened his mouth she tended not to agree with what he was saying. It was really no surprise she wasn't attracted to him.
"I meant, about the whole assaulting you thing..."
"Oh, that. Happens all the time."
She could readily believe it.
"Dinner?"
She checked her watch. "In the commissary?"
"Of course."
Might as well. She had just assaulted him, after all. "Okay."
It was half on her mind to drop by the Colonel's office and ask if he'd like to join them, but it seemed cruel to inflict McKay on anyone else. Besides, she knew he had a lot of work to catch up on (didn't he always?).
"Reminds me of school." McKay sat down opposite her and picked up his fork.
Sam looked around the underground commissary and smiled. It resembled most of the base commissaries she'd ever used in the past - just without windows. Still, it had the sort of bland, smelly atmosphere of all the school cafeterias she'd ate in when she was younger. And she'd certainly ate in a lot of them. "I see what you mean."
"Sorry about calling you a dumb blonde." He grinned mischievously at her.
"You're forgiven." Particularly after that whole 'artist' thing. She'd secretly been really flattered by that. And unnerved. And slightly.... uncomfortable. Suffice to say, Sam Carter didn't take compliments well.
"Um, sorry about the whole death by lemon thing."
"That was pretty classy."
She was looking at his plate now. She waved her fork at his vegetables. "What's the funny pink thing, do you think?"
He picked on out with his fork and dropped it onto the middle of the table. As scientists, they bent over it, hair brushing, and tried to deduce what vegetable it was.
Now this reminded her of school.
*
*
*
Chapter Four
"Driftwood?"
"Nope."
"Dirt."
"No again." Jack leaned his head back against the tree trunk and got up the courage to ask her the question he'd been wanting an answer to since yesterday evening. "So, you and McKay looked like you hit it off last night." Good. That sounded nice and casual. Particularly since his first response at seeing his major and that creep head to head over their dinner the night before had been so, well, violent. He figured he'd had a minor heart attack and was thankful she hadn't seen him swerve out of the commissary before he did something he regretted.
"Daises? Why would you say that?"
Quick - think of something funny. Something.... "You didn't once attempt to stab him with your knife at dinner."
She gave him a funny look. "Oh. He's all right. Sometimes. D.. d... d... d.... darkness?"
"Come on, Carter. It's so obvious." Heh. So far he was winning four games to two. He finally found something he could beat Carter at. I-Spy.
She was frowning, obviously irked. "I can't see anything else beginning with a 'd'. Dust?"
"No."
"Man...."
Jack grinned and nudged her knee with his. And left it there. "Give up?"
"No!"
She wasn't really the quitting type, and he admired her for it. "Want a clue?"
"No," Carter said through her teeth. "I'm fine. Divot."
He imagined she meant that half as an insult. "Nope."
"I hate this game."
"Carter, they're right in front of you."
She pouted slightly. "All I can see are those antelope things."
"Antelope?"
Sam looked at him sharply. "Yeah. Twisty horns. Why? What would you call them?"
"Deer."
"They're not deer!"
Damn. "All right. No one wins that game. I think we should play something different."
Sam sighed. "Maybe we should try making a lot of noise."
The 'deer' - their reason for their prolonged stay on this particularly planet - numbered about fifty, had lethal horns, and were currently grazing around the Stargate.
"Uh-uh. I've seen deer stampedes. And I refuse to limp home after being attacked by a deer." It would do his reputation no end of harm.
"Agreed. Rock, paper, scissors?"
That game lasted five minutes. Another couple of rounds of I-Spy equalized their scores ('dammit, I know you're cheating, I just don't know how!'). That just left their imaginations.
"Okay. Desert island. Five items."
"Bikini. Sun block. Sunglasses. Sarong. Hat." She grinned triumphantly. "You?"
His mind, reeling from the image of her in a bikini (which was odd, because he'd imagined her in a lot less before), stumbled. "Err... Fishing gear. Small boat. Sun tan lotion. Towel and... a lifetime supply of beer." Mentally he added her, in the bikini (little black string affair that was really easy to undo), sitting in the boat with him.
"Wouldn't you need a refrigerator?"
"Okay, I'll swap the towel for the fridge. A solar powered fridge," he added proudly.
"Do you think the Goa'uld sunbathe?"
"I'll ask Teal'c."
"Can't really picture Hathor with a healthy tan."
He looked at her sharply. She looked sort of... daydreamy. An idea occurred to him. "Carter, are you bored?"
She shrugged. "Not really. I just don't have anything to put my mind to. There were high levels of iron in the soil - not unusual. No new technology to work on. Nothing needs blowing up or fixing which, as you know, are my specialties. All I've got left to think about is.... whether the Goa'uld sunbathe and if they do, do they take holidays? Is there some tropical planet out there where Gods and Goddesses take time out and sunbathe under umbrellas with cocktails?"
He shooed away a fly and sent a small prayer to whatever deity, real or otherwise, was listening that they never come across said planet. "All right. Another game. The whole of SG-1 as teenagers in high school. Do you think we'd have been friends?"
She smiled a little thoughtful smile. "I'd have to know what you were like in high school."
"Hockey captain."
"That's it?"
It was all she was getting. "That's it."
Her eyebrows went up and then down. "Me and Daniel would have been friends, definitely. We were both quiet and hardworking and were skipped two grades. So we were pretty young for our class."
Jack had a sinking feeling he knew where this was going. "You figure you'd have dated?"
"Maybe." It obviously wasn't something that she'd thought about before, which made him feel slightly better. "Or we'd have been best friends. The kind of friends would didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that friendship, you know?"
Oh yeah.
"What kind of a teenager were you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You said you were a delinquent. How bad were you?"
Jack winced, really rather wishing he could avoid this conversation now. "I was destructive, Carter. But... I mean, I wasn't cruel or anything... It's difficult to explain."
"You had nowhere for your energy to go."
That was a nice way of putting it. "Yeah."
"Did you have a leather jacket?"
"Of course."
"A car?"
Of sorts. "Yes."
"Sunglasses?"
"Of course."
"Did you skip class?"
"Only when the situation warranted it. Carter, where's this going?"
She grinned. "I would have had a crush on you."
A stupid, goofy expression crossed his face. "Really?" Well, this was sad. She'd just made his day completely.
"Really."
"Sweet."
"Where do you think Teal'c fits in with all this?"
"A stalwart, loyal hockey player, of course. Silent but strong. Hardworking but with a wicked, though infrequent, sense of humor."
She giggled. "Yeah. We would have all been friends. Not sure about the new kid yet. Has potential..."
"Kind of enthusiastic."
"I was too."
"But you were hot." Jack cringed. He couldn't believe he'd said that out loud. ''' Sorry, Major."
"It's all right."
She was bright red. It clearly wasn't all right. "Carter, I'm really sorry. That was inappropriate and really tactless of me."
"It's okay. Really. The only thing that upset me was the past tense."
Whew. "Oh, you have no problems in the present, Major."
"Thank you, sir."
Sir. There it was again. The word that haunted him through his days and when he went to sleep at night. He didn't think she'd used it once since they got back and found the deer had taken control and he'd quite happily flirted away with her....
Flirted.
Damn. It had happened again. How had this happened? How had he ended up flirting with her again? Not moments ago he'd told her she was hot. In the present tense. Moments before that, she'd told him she'd had a crush on him. Or would have. Or could have. Or... whatever. Dammit, he was too old for this stuff. And she was what, ten years his junior? When she was in pigtails he was already in the military.
"Did you go to a military school?"
"What?" He pulled himself out of his self-imposed misery. "No. My parents were... are," Nice slip of the tongue, there, Jack, he thought, " civvies."
"You would probably have liked it. Maybe not liked, exactly, because you were, after all, the teenage cliché. But it might have developed your leadership skills early. Maybe you'd have put your energy where it was eventually going to end up anyway."
Jack looked at her oddly, strangely touched by her interest in his past. The way she put it, you'd almost think he hadn't been a complete waste of space. "Are you redesigning my childhood for me, Carter?"
She pulled her knees up to her chin. "Sorry. Janet and I went through all the options for Cassie."
"Do you want kids, Carter?"
Sam turned her head to the side and looked at him. She wrinkled her nose. "Overall, yes. But, frankly, I don't see how I'm supposed to do that when I'm not with anybody, I'm working in probably the most dangerous top secret job in the world and have practically no life outside of the SGC. And I promised myself I'd never turn into my father. I couldn't do that to any child of mine and at the moment, my work is so very important to me."
"Sounds like you've thought about this a lot."
"It's been cropping up a lot recently."
He decided to leave it at that, for the time being anyway. He'd have liked to tell her that she'd make a wonderful mom and hoped her kids took after her, but she had looked so fragile for a moment there he was afraid whatever he could say would only hurt her further.
So instead they sat in silence for a while, watching the deer graze and move slowly away through the trees. When it was finally safe, they got up and went home.
"You're late." Hammond had been pacing.
"Deer, sir," Sam informed him smartly. "We thought it wise not to disturb them."
The General sighed. "Fine. So long as nothing happened."
"Disappointed, I tell you, he's disappointed," Jack whispered into her ear.
*
*
*
Chapter Five
Sam's car, never very reliable in the first place, died the next morning and nothing Sam did could coax it to start. She called Janet first only to get a very sleepy (grumpy) Cassandra Fraiser.
"Mom left half an hour..." Yawn ".... ago. Sorry Sam. Try Jack."
Oh boy. She dialed quickly.
"O'Neill."
This was not awkward, this was not awkward. "Hey, sir, it's Carter."
"Carter. What's up?"
"My car won't start; I was wondering if you could give me a lift into work."
"Sure. I'll be there in fifteen."
Fifteen whole minutes. What to do... what to do....
She ended up polishing the hall mirror - a task that had been demanding attention for a couple of weeks but, she thought with a smirk, what with all the saving the world and stuff she simply hadn't had the time.
Jack - no, Colonel O'Neill - arrived exactly fifteen minutes later. He had on that leather jacket she really, really, really liked. There was something about a guy in leather, she thought as she picked up her own coat.
"Finally gone, eh?" he asked, nodding to her odd, but classic, car.
"I'll fix it at the weekend."
"You can fix anything, can't you?"
"Yup."
"I've got a toaster that needs a good seeing too."
She grinned and climbed in to the front of his truck. He'd just had a CD player installed and she had to restrain herself from playing with all the buttons. She sat on her hands, but eyed up the CD device. It was pretty swish. With buttons. Lots and lots of buttons.
"Go on, then, Carter, play all you want. Just not too loud; it's very early in the morning."
Sam 'yes sir'ed excitedly and switched the power on. "Got any CDs?"
"Glove box."
She wasn't surprised by his music. She had, after all, been to his house rather a lot and snooped while he was out of the room. Unlike Daniel, she'd not stayed over as frequently - she'd always get a cab home, whatever the hour - but she knew enough about her colonel to know his taste in music was kind of classy. He went for classical, which she personally knew very little about.
She stopped over one CD, however, and smiled. "I had a boyfriend once who put this on when he wanted to get laid." She snickered, and turned it over, read the back. "It's nice and all, but will forever remind me of him."
"Thanks for sharing that with me." He took it out of her hands and threw it into the back seats.
Sam figured she should really think before she spoke. She found a Bruce Springsteen CD that she'd had on tape as a teenager and slid it through the gap in the player, delighted when the machine took hold of the CD and slurped it in. Then she happily fiddled with bass and sound for most of the car journey.
"Hey, there's McKay," she commented as they slowed at the entrance of the mountain. "Man, bet his car breaks down a lot."
"Do all scientists have junky cars?"
Sam sighed. "It's not junky, it's classic. Besides, it's all I can afford. Though, God knows what McKay's doing with that thing. He gets paid way more than I do. I suppose it must be a challenge to keep it going."
The Colonel shook his head. "Scientists," he muttered.
McKay was waiting for them by the doors to the elevator, his bag at his feet. "Morning, Colonel, Major. New sweater?"
"You haven't known me long enough to know my wardrobe." But he was right anyway. Spooky. She stepped into the elevator and pressed 28.
"Apparently this influenza thing is lasting longer than anyone thought," McKay said cheerfully. "Guess that means more time for us." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
Colonel O'Neill, on the other side of Sam, leaned forward slightly and gave McKay what could only be described as 'A Look'. It, miraculously, shut McKay up completely.
Sam was astonished all the way down to the SGC.
"Is he like that all the time?"
"I told you he was disgusting."
"How do you cope?"
"Well, he seems to flit from here and the Pentagon regularly, so I don't see him as much as I could. But, mostly, I tune it out. Sometimes he can be fairly normal. We just operate differently, as scientists, I mean." They paused outside her lab. "Thanks for the lift, sir."
"If you can't fix your car until the weekend, do you want lifts to and from work for the rest of the week?"
Entire car journeys with him! By herself! Christ, she was acting like a teenager. "If it wouldn't be an inconvenience..." That sounded nice and professional.
"Please. This way I'll be able to drag you away from work at a reasonable hour. Remember, briefing at nine."
"I will." She watched him walk away. Something had shifted in their relationship. It was almost as if... things had gone back to the way things were before. The relationship they'd had before things had gone to hell - before Jolinar and zay'tarcs and Jonah and Thera and, oh God, the computer entity and the look in his eyes when he told her he'd had to shoot her to kill.
So she watched him walk away, feeling hopeful for the first time in what seemed like years.
Hmm. Coffee. Coffee was definitely needed. She really needed to repress this urge to whistle. Nobody like a morning person.
***
"How's it going? Ya miss me?" Jack demanded of his other two team mates.
Either Jonas didn't get the sarcasm or he was just, plain honest because he said, "I've been too busy, Colonel, to really consider you."
Dammit, where was Carter? That was a perfect moment for a look of shared understanding.
Carter entered the room a moment later, a couple of files tucked under her arm and a lot of color in her cheeks. She looked like she'd run all the way here. "Hey, guys. How are your temporary assignments going?"
"Talking, lots of talking," Jonas said, grinning at her. God, Jack thought in dawning horror, he hoped Jonas didn't have a crush. "Any good mineral finds?"
"Not yet. Maybe next time." She dropped her files by her place (next to him) and went to get herself a glass of water. "Teal'c, how are you finding SG-5?"
"Colonel Williams is an adequate leader."
Jack couldn't help but feel smug. Teal'c's loyalty to him was unfaltering.
"Good morning SG-1."
Jack wondered what drugs the General took to be so chipper in the morning. Then again, looking around, both Carter and Jonas were wide-eyed and expectant. Must be something in the water.
Carter swiftly took her seat next to Jack, half smiled with him and fiddled with her files.
"This is really an informal briefing. Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, you're briefing will take place at 1000 hours whereas Teal'c and Jonas have already been briefed on their next missions. The influenza virus is proving a little more virulent than Dr Fraiser first suspected but thankfully the decontamination program appears to have been successful since no one else has come down with the virus. So, for the time being, you shall continue as you have been. I know Jonas has been enjoying the more communicative aspects of SG-3 but Teal'c? Are you okay with continuing to work with SG-5? Colonel Williams has told me you have proved to be a valuable member."
Colonel Williams better not be getting ideas, Jack thought.
"I have no problems with this temporary measure, General Hammond."
Noticing the slight stress on 'temporary', Jack mentally cheered.
"Colonel, Major?"
"I'm fine."
"Me too."
"Not longing for action?"
Since this was clearly an informal briefing, Jack felt it necessary to take a dig at his CO. "Nope. Maybe a few less trees, some sand, sea..."
"Luck of the draw, Colonel." Hammond tapped his hands on the table. "Good. That's all. Dismissed. Major, I take it those are for me?"
"Yessir."
"Have you included the, ah, appropriate definitions?"
She smiled charmingly. "Yes, General."
Ah, Jack thought, so he wasn't the only one who had to keep a dictionary on hand while he waded through Carter's reports. He watched as the two considerably thick files were passed over his head. Those weren't her reports, though, were they? He was lucky if his filled a page: Planet hostile. Attacked by Goa'ulds/natives/wild animals. Escaped thanks to ingenious plot of Major Carter. The end. Brevity was everything.
"Sir?"
He came back to himself abruptly to find that everyone else had gone and Carter was looking at him oddly from the doorway.
The best thing to do, he decided, was to smile and rise because he had clearly meant to be last out.
"Reports?"
"No. A kind of project I've been working on."
"Sounds mysterious."
"Oh, no. It's Stargate related. The General asked me to write up a kind of guide to wormholes for when there's a change in government or President."
"A Dummies Guide to Wormholes?"
She gave him a brilliant smile. "Exactly."
Hmm. Wonder if he could borrow it. "Breakfast?"
She stuck her hands in her pockets and he was vaguely disappointed, though he didn't know why. "Sure."
His own hands wormed their way into his pockets, and he realized, with a sinking feeling, what he had been missing.
Dammit, he was way too old to hold hands anyway.
***
Tilting their heads to the side, Sam and Colonel O'Neill regarded the Stargate they'd just gated through.
"Hmm. That's a new one."
Sam bit her lip, tried not to giggle - she was trying to be perfectly professional this time. They'd been way too comfortable in the car this morning. He'd even brought her coffee, done perfectly, too, which was just worrying. "I wonder what pushed it over."
"If anything did. Maybe it was just installed wrong. We oughta call the phone company and complain."
Her grin got through anyway. She almost sighed. "Still, it doesn't seemed to affect the dialing sequence."
"We'll take pictures. Right, er, camper, let's get mineral surveying." He adjusted his all-over sunglasses, then his hat, and raised his eyebrows at Sam expectantly.
This time she did sigh, and picked up her box and started tramping north-east. "No definite naquadah deposits for sure. At least not close to the surface."
"What does that feel like anyway? The whole Goa'uld sense thing?"
"Um, it's kind of difficult to describe."
"Try anyway."
"Well," Sam began, frowning deeply. "It's like... you know that feeling you get when you were a kid, when a teacher pulled you out of class to tell you off?"
"I do, yes, but I'm surprised you do."
"It's like that, mixed with the hairs rising on the back of your neck, and... just knowing. Like an instinct. Like knowing instinctively which way's home."
"Oh. But let's get back to when you were pulled out of class. I thought you were perfect."
"No one's perfect."
"You're cutting it pretty close, let me assure you."
"I don't know whether to be insulted or pleased."
"Be pleased, for my sake. I hate when you think I've insulted you."
"Why?"
"You get this expression on your face that just slays me."
She stopped and looked at him. "What expression?"
He grinned, making her heart leap. "You're getting awfully close to it there, Major. And don't change the subject. When were you pulled out of class?"
God, he was really being persistent. "On the odd occasion that I was reprimanded, it was usually for not paying attention."
"Not paying attention?"
"Yeah." She stepped off the animal track, finding a small clearly that looked suitable for her first set of samples. She was going to do a naquadah test anyway - she always did, just in case her 'sense' was wrong.
"Carter, you are Little Miss Attentive."
"Yes. Now I am. Because I enjoy what I do. School was boring."
"Everyone knows that."
"No. I mean, in the sense that..." Oh boy did she really wish she hadn't brought this up. She didn't know to say this without sounding like a know-all, " I tended to... already... know the things they were teaching us. So ... I .... didn't listen in class."
The Colonel was quiet for a few moments, shifting on his feet. She glanced up and saw he was checking out their perimeter. "Do you miss Daniel, Sam?"
She felt like she'd been punched in the gut and was glad she was squatting on the floor because her knees went and she dropped down onto the earth. "Huh?"
"Do you miss Daniel?"
"Yes, of course I miss Daniel. Why the hell did you ask that?"
"You wanted to talk about it. Before. And I... shot you down. I shouldn't have done that."
Okay, now she was vacillating between a funny sort of anger, embarrassment, and the feeling that if he didn't shut up now she might, maybe, perhaps, start crying. And she'd cried enough over Daniel. "No. You shouldn't have. But, then, you weren't really up to it. You don't... talk about that sort of thing."
She watched his boots shuffle. One lifted, kicked into the dirt, then the other copied the same dance. "That's true."
They stood and sat there respectively for a few moments.
"Sometimes I go to his office. I forget he's not there anymore," she admitted quietly.
"The other day, I picked up the phone and started to call him."
She winced, having also nearly done that on occasion. "I haven't taken him off speed dial yet."
"I've kept his last email to me."
Slowly, Sam stood up, still not looking at him in the face. "Daniel and I.... I was probably closer to Daniel than I've ever been to anyone my entire life long. And now he's... gone..." Oh, here it comes, she thought as her eyes burned and slowly misted up. Quickly, she pulled the sleeves of her black T-shirt down and pressed them to her eyes, wishing she wasn't such a wet rag when it came to Daniel.
She felt a tug on her elbow and bonelessly followed the gentle command. His arms came around her and he was just the right height for her to press her face into the crook of his neck. "I keep crying."
"That's normal."
"No it's not," Sam muttered stubbornly. "Because he's not here, but he's not dead either. He's... around. I should be comforted by that, right? But I'm not."
"It's kind of an impossible situation to be put in, I agree. It'll get better, Sam."
"I know that. I've had people die before." She pulled back, unwilling, but his slip of her name reminded her of things she didn't particularly want to be reminded of. She stared at his neck, the only safe place she felt she could look because if she looked into her eyes she would lose herself. "You know, I thought we were infallible."
"We?"
"SG-1. I thought we were infallible. You know we're the only team not to have lost a member? Up until... now."
"I suppose. Why are you staring at my collar, Carter? I'm up here."
Sam licked her lips and looked at him bravely. "I thought we were invincible. That we would never lose one another. I was wrong, Colonel, and that scares me like hell."
"You've still got me, and Teal'c. Fraiser, Hammond, those weirdo lab geeks of yours, that Captain in SG-10 that all you women scope out every time he walks past...."
Despite herself, and the fact that she'd only just finished blubbering over his shoulder about their dead best friend, she found herself grinning. "I can't believe you've noticed that."
"Are you kidding? The Doc fought off one of the nurses to give him his physical only last week...."
"Damn, she usually tells me when he's got one due.."
"Carter!"
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding."
"Jeez, give me a heart attack. Do you really think he's attractive?"
Not as attractive as you, she thought, then swore at herself for thinking it. "I'm not sure if I should answer that."
"Hmm. I'm not sure either. Are we okay, Sam?"
He did it again! Clearly! And she wasn't crying! "I'm okay. Are you okay?"
He smiled and looked away. "I'll be okay. Practice makes perfect and all that."
She reached out unconsciously and touched his arm. "Grief isn't something you practice, Colonel."
"I know that, Carter." His free hand let go of his P-90 and came to rest on hers. "I suppose... you could always talk to me."
"Sir?"
"About stuff you and Daniel used to talk about." He looked slightly embarrassed.
"You hate talking."
"Hey, what do you think we've been doing the last few days?"
She hadn't thought about it like that. God, she hadn't really noticed. They had been talking, and not just about inconsequential stuff either, which was a change. And it hadn't been uncomfortable. Okay, occasionally it had been, but nothing she couldn't handle. No regulations had been broken, no lines crossed, no declarations made. It had been... nice.
"I'd like that, Colonel. I'd like that very much."
Colonel O'Neill smiled. If he'd been a bird, he would have ruffled his feathers proudly. "Sweet."